Countdown to Ruin
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: Marian Hawke is on the run, fleeing from mages and templars alike. Loyalties are tested, bonds are broken and Hawke begins to question whether or not freedom is worth fighting for. FemMageHawke/Seb, some slight Fenris/Hawke
1. Where Do We Go From Here

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Dragon Age don't belong to me, unfortunately. That belongs to BioWare.

**Title**

Countdown to Ruin

**Summary**

Marian Hawke is on the run, fleeing from mages and templars alike. Loyalties are tested, bonds are broken and Hawke begins to question whether or not freedom is worth fighting for.

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**Chapter One: Where Do We Go From Here?**

She placed the brown urn containing ashes, on top of the patient bed, tears rolling down her face. There had been hundreds of causalities as a result of the battle, but this loss affected her greatly. It was like losing her mother and sister all over again; the same regret and the same pain. She had lost a friend and a fellow mage, killed by none other than her own hand.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Killing Anders was the hardest decision she ever had to make during her three year venture in Kirkwall. Although he deserved to die for his crime, she felt a great loss knowing he was no longer going to be by her side. That came to a great relief to quite a few people in her party, namely Fenris and Sebastian, but they didn't understand.

"We can't stay here for much longer, Hawke," Merill said, standing beside Hawke with a crestfallen expression. "There's a bounty on your head. You're not safe here."

Marian Hawke, the once beloved champion of Kirkwall. Now she was the second most hated person within the city, after the now deceased Anders. Mages blamed her for failing to stop Anders. Templars distrusted her because she was a mage. And commoners who were not mage nor templar, didn't hold her in high regard either, blaming her for being unable to stop the fight that tore the city apart. "This is all my fault," she mumbled.

Merill placed a comforting hand on Hawke's shoulder. "It's not your fault, Hawke."

"I could've stopped Anders..." If only she had tried harder, then perhaps he would still be alive.

Merill shook her head. "You know you couldn't, Hawke. He was always going to do this with or without you."

Hawke wiped away tears, sniffing again. "I've brought doom to this city."

"No," Merill stated firmly, "You saved this city from the Qunari. You stopped a lot of blood mages. You helped people who needed it. There would've been a few more people dead if it hadn't been for you, Hawke."

Marian Hawke tried to smile, but there was no feeling behind it. "I've tried to be strong for so long, but I just can't... not after everything that has happened." More tears spilled. She hadn't cried after losing Bethany, nor had she cried after losing her mother, but now, here she was grieving for everyone she had lost.

"Everything is going to be alright, Hawke. You still have your friends."

Her trusty band of followers; how many of them would stay with her after this though? How many of her friends would want to remain at her side now? Her surviving friends might have supported the mages during the battle against Meredith, but that was over. "You don't have to stay with me, Merill. I'm dangerous. I'm hunted. Like you mentioned earlier, there's a bounty on my head. If you stay with me, you're putting your life on the line again."

"Have you forgotten I'm a mage, Hawke? I feel much safer with you around than I would alone. I'm sure the others will be more than willing to stay at your side," Merill said, a soft smile on her face. "We'll follow wherever you lead, Hawke."

Hawke faintly smiled. At least there were still some people that believed in her. To think her friends still looked to her for leadership was amazing; she had dragged them through three years of violence battling abominations, blood mages and templars and still they considered her a friend. "Where do we go from here?"

"That's up to you, Hawke. Where would you like to go?"

Far away from Kirkwall would be nice, she thought. "I was thinking of heading back to Lothering in Fereldan," she answered. "We fled Lothering during the Blight, but that's over now. I was thinking I could head back and rebuild the village."

"That would be nice. We could visit the Dalish tribe there as well."

Hawke nodded. "A fresh start."

"And a new beginning, especially for you since you are now married!" Merill exclaimed.

Hawke lifted a brow, and tried to keep a straight face. "Married? What are you talking about?" She thought it had been a secret that Sebastian had asked her to marry him. How did... Merill giggled.

"Varric invited us all down to The Hanged Man the night before the battle and you told us everything. He was scribbling down notes the entire time, Hawke, saying the book couldn't be just about tragedy and war. The book needed some romance too because it sells better."

Damn Varric. "Remind me not to accept any invitation to a night out at the tavern again," she replied, earning a light hearted chuckle from Merill. Hawke smiled as well, but it faded quickly, replaced by a frown. "I don't think it's going to last though."

"Is he returning to Starkhaven?"

Hawke shook her head. "I don't know... If the Chantry in Kirkwall was still here, he would certainly remain in Kirkwall, but without the Chantry, and without Elthina... I'm guessing he'll want to return to Starkhaven eventually to claim the throne and raise an army to exterminate mages..." She shuddered. "As his wife, he'd expect me to return with him... but I doubt the people of Starkhaven would appreciate having a mage standing beside their prince," she said, forcing a dry laugh. "And it gets more problematic – if he does decide to go back and claim the throne, then they'll expect a child and what if that child turned out to be a mage as well?" There was also the matter of Sebastian forsaking his vows – would that lead him down a dark and dangerous road? She wasn't entirely sure. Either way, returning to Starkhaven with Sebastian wasn't going to end on a positive note for a mage.

Merill gave her a blank look. "You'll have to talk to him about your future."

"If there is a future for us," Hawke replied bitterly. "Let's head down to the docks. I don't want to remain here any longer." With one parting glance at the urn of ashes, Hawke followed Merill towards the clinic's exist. What would the future hold?

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In the next chapter (the first official one), Hawke and her friends arrive in Fereldan, but things don't go as they expect. Reviews are much appreciated!


	2. Concerned Friends

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Dragon Age don't belong to me, unfortunately. That belongs to BioWare.

**Title**

Countdown to Ruin

**Summary**

Marian Hawke is on the run, fleeing from mages and templars alike. Loyalties are tested, bonds are broken and Hawke begins to question whether or not freedom is worth fighting for.

**Special Thanks**

Jasminemilktea, islashlove and guest for taking the time out of their day, to read and review the opening chapter. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.

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**Chapter Two: Concerned Friends**

As she walked through the deserted streets, she couldn't help but shudder as memories of the battle flooded her mind. They were so vivid; it was as if she was in battle right now, casting spells in all directions slaughtering templars, abominations and even innocents caught in the crossfire. They stuck to the shadows as best as they could, as Hawke and Merill headed towards the docks.

"There she is! Stop her!" a voice called out, causing Hawke to freeze on spot.

"Hawke..."

Hawke swallowed, and steadied her breathing. She withdrew her staff, ready to cast a spell at the approaching trio of templars. "A templar patrol. Just our luck." Her lifted her hands, as flames burst from her palms. She thrust both her hands forward, sending forth a large ball of fire. The templars put their shields forward, and held their ground. The ball struck, and sent them backwards, but none had died.

As the templars struggled to their feet in their heavy armour, Merill rushed forward and summoned a rock-hard fist. The spell charged forward, and struck a templar silencing him. The remaining two templars exchanged looks, then sprinted towards the two mages, swords at the ready. "Pull back!" Hawke ordered.

"Don't let her escape!"

"This one is for all the mages your Order made tranquil," she said, her eyes burning like black fire. She sent forth a burst of ice, succeeding in lessening their speed for a few brief moments, while she prepared her next spell. Once again, she turned to fire to aid her in defeating the templars. This time, she brought down balls of fire from the sky. One of them struck the templar on the right, throwing him off his feet. He screamed, and struggled to pull off his burdensome armour, but it was too late. The flames burned through the cold steel.

Now it was Merill's turn to strike again. Clouds billowed quickly above them, bolts of lightning striking down at all living beings below. A bolt struck the remaining templar, sending him flying through the air. He flew several feet, then slammed into the far wall, dropping to the ground. The bolt might not have killed him directly, but the head slam against the wall would. "We have to leave, Hawke. More templars will come and we can't possibly face them all."

Three templars was bearable, but a large group of them? Impossible. She lowered her staff, gave Merill an assuring nod, then ran.

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Carver walked towards the smouldering ruins of the Chantry, and kneeled down, placing a bouquet of flowers onto the ground to pay his respects for the fallen. There were a few unrecognizable templars around, but none bothered to speak to him. Only Cullen, the newly appointed Knight-Commander, approached him.

"Carver."

"Knight-Commander," Carver responded, straightening his posture. Although the Chantry no longer existed, Carver still considered himself as a templar. He knew he wasn't welcomed here anymore, but Cullen held him in high regard. In the corner of his eye, he spotted a group of templars casting him distrustful glances.

"They will not harm you, not while I am here," Cullen said, "but you must realize you can't stay here anymore. You chose to stand by your sister and the mages, thus turning your back against the Order. I understand why you did it, and I don't hold that against you, but the other templars are not so kind."

Carver nodded. Cullen's response was expected. "I lost both my parents and one of my sisters... I couldn't lose another." Marian Hawke might have been a mage, but she was his only remaining blood relative. Family was the most important thing in his world, mage or not. "We're setting sail for Fereldan today."

"You'll be safer leaving at night in the cover of darkness. There are too many templars guarding the docks blocking the exit of any surviving runaway apostates," Cullen said, eyes filled with sadness. "I wish it hadn't come down to this, but Meredith called for the Right of Annulment before her death."

"Won't there be templars guarding the docks at night as well?"

"There will be a few, but it'll be easier to escape."

Carver snorted. Even Cullen didn't sound wholly convinced it would be easier for them to escape. "You don't sound too confident... but you are right. We can't stay here for much longer. You're the only person managing to keep the templars restrained long enough for us to escape."

"I wouldn't be so certain. There are many rogue templars running amok the streets, searching for mages to kill. I haven't gotten command over them all unfortunately, many are blinded by rage and the desire for revenge. They will not listen to reason. If your sister fails to escape... I fear to think to think of the consequences should she fail."

"I'll do my best."

"I bid you farewell, Carver."

Carver said his goodbyes, and headed back towards the docks, casting one final glance at a group of templars. No templar could be trusted anymore; Cullen would do his best, but he didn't have enough influence to control them. The more time wasted here, the greater the chances of death.

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"Where is Hawke?!" Sebastian asked, pacing back and forth, lines of worry etched on to his face. Hawke had been gone for a few hours now, and he was terrified at the thought of losing her. "I knew I should not have left her go off alone!"

"She's not alone, choir boy," Varric said, hefting Bianca over his shoulder, "she's with Merill. Besides, Hawke is a grown woman. She can look after herself."

Sebastian gave the dwarf a sharp look. "Even with Anders dead, he is still causing us grief." He berated himself again for letting Hawke go off to the clinic to pay her respects to her fellow mage friend. But Hawke, his wife, convinced him that she needed to do this. "There are still templars out there, and they would all like her head."

Isabela stepped forward, shaking her head. "We need to stay put and prepare the ship. If we all leave now, then who is going to protect the ship from those rogue templars?" she countered, a hint of a smirk playing on the corner of mouth.

"Speaking of Hawke, where is her brother, Carver?" Aveline said.

The party looked around. "Seems he has left," Isabela drawled. "Our backs are up against the wall. He probably took the smart choice and left while he had the chance. I can't say I blame him."

"Carver might be a templar, but he loves his family more than anything. He wouldn't betray his sister like this. He's probably gone to the ruins and paid his respects to the fallen," Fenris answered, from the railings on the ship. "If you would like, I could go and look for the Hawke siblings."

"I will come with him," Sebastian said.

"I will also accompany them," Varric added, "I need all the details for the sequel."

"Don't forget about me. I'm going to do all I can to help," Donnic said, earning a nod of approval from his partner, Aveline.

Isabela exchanged Aveline a look, "Looks like us woman will be on guard duty while the boys go off and play," she remarked dryly, earning a light chuckle from Aveline. "Well off you go then." She headed back towards the inside of the ship, Aveline following close behind.

Fenris withdrew his longsword. "We'll have to split into pairs. Varric and Donnic, you can search for Carver. Sebastian and I will find Marian. We'll meet up at the ship before the sun sets."

"I should be searching for Marian Hawke," Varric argued, "the sequel is about her after all."

"You can trade details later, dwarf," Fenris shot back. "Right now, the Hawke siblings need our help."

Varric turned to Donnic. "Well, I guess I'll work on the minor subplots then. How was your wedding night with Aveline?" Donnic turned a bright shade of red, while the dwarf grinned. The two headed towards the right, while Fenris and Sebastian walked in the opposite direction. The search for the Hawke siblings was about to begin, and Sebastian could only hope that they were both safe.

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The next chapter should be (hopefully) out in the next couple of days. As always, reviews are much appreciated!


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